Who Is Filling Your Cup?

One of our most basic human needs is the need to be loved.  Ask any psychologist what so many of his clients have in common.  Very often it is a deep-seeded insecurity that stems from feeling unwanted or unloved. In an effort to determine wherein the insecurity lies the psychologist often takes you back in time to your early childhood years.  Maybe someone close to you withheld affection or never validated you.  Or worse—maybe you were abused or neglected. But let’s be real honest here—we don’t have to live through detrimental experiences in order to need a little therapy.  Most, if not all of us, carry insecurities with us.  We’re just real good about hiding them and keeping them to ourselves. Why else do we turn to other people or even materialism to feel validated?  What is it about the human tendency to stockpile things or amass wealth?  Does it make us feel more secure if our investment portfolio is high?  Do we feel better about ourselves if we drive new car even though it puts us in tremendous debt?  Do we really believe that people will love us more if we have a certain look, wear certain clothes, and own certain material possessions?

I believe that God made us with a deep yearning to be loved and to love in return.  Every one of us desires to be loved unconditionally by someone.  Why else do we go to such extremes?  We attempt to change our appearance by continually striving to look thinner, younger, and more attractive. We buy the latest and greatest gadgets hoping that they will attract someone to us.  Often we put on a façade that makes us appear to have it all together hoping that maybe then we will be found worthy of true love.

Fortunately, there is Someone who does love us unconditionally. And we don’t need to do anything special or create a certain look either! In fact, He loves us just the way we are, and His love is unfailing and everlasting.  That Someone is our Savior, Jesus Christ.  He is the only One who can truly satisfy the deepest longings in our heart. The problem is that more often than not we look for something or someone else to fill us. We do not turn to Jesus first, but usually as a last resort, when all else has failed us. We could save ourselves a lot of heartache if we would go to Jesus first and find our satisfaction in His unfailing love. Oswald Chambers once wrote, “No love of the natural heart is safe unless the human heart has been satisfied by God first.”  I agree.

Picture with me that every day of your life you are given a cup, that when filled, will quench your thirst for the day.  This cup represents all of your unmet needs.  Your goal is to fill the cup every day because when it is full your unmet needs have been satisfied, your insecurities are gone, and you feel confident, strong, and loved. So, what do most of us do?  We wake up each morning and we take that empty cup with us wherever we go asking and sometimes even demanding that others fill it for us.  After all, we are thirsty, and we need someone or something to help fill our empty cups. Then we’ll feel better about ourselves.  Whether our cup is filled through words of affirmation, approval, control, success, or monetary gain, it doesn’t matter.  The bottom line is we are miserable until something—anything—is in that cup. The problem is that people or materialistic pursuits will never be able to satisfy our insatiable thirst.  We were made to be filled with the Living Water, the Holy Spirit of God.  Only He can quench and satisfy our deepest spiritual thirst.

Remember the story of the Samaritan woman who came to the well to draw water? Jesus was there and asked her for a drink. She asked how it could be that He would ask her for a drink since Jesus was a Jew and she was a Samaritan. In those days, Jews did not associate with Samaritans. Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water” (John 4:10). She proceeded to ask where she could get this living water.  Jesus replied, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:13).  Jesus was speaking figuratively letting her know that coming to the living water represented spiritual refreshment that only He could give.  He invited her to drink the water of life.  She had previously had five husbands and the man she currently was with was not her husband.  Could it be that she was looking for someone to fill her empty cup?  

In Jeremiah 2:13, the Lord said, “My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.” Broken cisterns represent idols that we create and pay homage to, and they always fail their worshipers. By contrast, only God, the spring of living water, provides life-giving power to His people. When we attempt to fill our cup with things other than with God, our cup is like a broken cistern.  It has cracks and it leaks, and therefore, will never fill and satisfy us the way that God intended.

In John 7:38, Jesus says, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.” Again and again Jesus invites us to come to Him because He is the true fountain of life. He knows that life is difficult and offers us His strength.  Not only does He delight in filling our cup with His everlasting love and perfect peace, He will fill it to the fullest measure. The best part is that it will actually overflow onto all that we meet.  And no one is more pleasant to be around than someone who has had her cup filled with the living God.  Insecurities will be erased as she drinks in the love and acceptance of her Savior. She will no longer need the constant approval or affirmation from others. This will free her up to love others unconditionally too without placing unrealistic demands on them. 

When you awake tomorrow to begin your new day, think about your empty cup.  It needs to be filled. Will you draw daily from the well of living water?  Or, will you reach out your empty cup day after day to things that cannot fill it? Don’t forget that only the living water—Jesus Christ—has the power to quench your thirst.  Everything else will only be a cheap substitute.  The choice is yours to make.

“They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light.”  Psalm 36:8-9

“Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!...Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live.”  Isaiah 55:1-3

“For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.” Revelation 7:17