Keeping Company with God

I find it amazing that the longer I sojourn with God, the more I realize how much I still need to learn and grow. I used to feel pretty good about myself when I would devote a half an hour (or more) of each morning to God. I’d delight myself in these early morning devotions as I felt completely one with God. I’d come to Him with complete transparency and tell Him everything—as if He didn’t already know! I’d worship Him, I’d thank Him for His goodness, I’d read my Bible, I’d pray for others, and I’d ask the Holy Spirit to guide me through my day. My quiet time with God was good and I felt satisfied. Then I’d quickly blow out my candle, close my Bible, and start on my mental “to-do list”.

Lately, however, I’m not as satisfied. I’ve come to realize that although I may have started out my day with God, far too often I’d forget all about Him as I went about my busyness. I didn’t like how I could feel so connected to God in the morning, and then not even give Him a second thought the rest of the day. I noticed that I became task-oriented and allowed my mental to-do list to direct my life instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me moment by moment.

What is moment by moment guidance anyway? The Bible often talks about abiding in the Lord, remaining in Him, lingering in His presence, coming away and resting in Him. After reading a few good Christian books, I quickly realized that I was not abiding in the Lord at all. Even though I spent precious moments with the Lord in our “sacred quiet place,” I left Him there when I was finished as I pursued my agenda for the day. No wonder I’d so easily get frustrated or fall back into sin. I simply wasn’t living in the power of the Holy Spirit. I needed to learn to take the “quiet” with me. I learned that the presence of God is not relegated to my devotional time in the morning or a quiet place. God is available to me at every moment and in every circumstance. Brother Lawrence calls this awareness “practicing the presence of God.”

As I started delving into the Scriptures, I realized that to abide in God means to live a life of constant communion with Him. That’s right—it is simply keeping company with God. The ironic thing is that doesn’t mean I have to sit still all day to be aware of His presence, nor do I have to do all the talking either. Keeping company with God is walking away from my intimate time with Him, but taking an “awareness” of His Presence with me. It is a realization that He is constantly with me, even in my often cluttered and busy life. Rather than yearn for simplicity and quiet and wish my two teenagers grown, I gave myself permission to enjoy the stage of life I am currently in. Yes, it is rather busy and often quite hectic, but I can learn to experience God even in these busy times. He is with me everywhere I go, not just in my early morning devotions.

I could sense God whisperering to my heart that it was time for me to become a “Noticer.” I needed to refocus my attention so I could notice Him while I was at work, while I was taking a walk with my dogs, or while I was having dinner with my family. I need to consciously remember that He’s with me when I go grocery shopping, when I’m having lunch with a friend, and even when I’m busy cleaning the house. There will always be places to go, things to do, and people to visit, but if I can learn to find God in the midst of every moment, then I will be living my life with an easy-ness even amidst the busyness.

Keeping company with God also means to talk to Him about every aspect of my day. And yes, this includes all of my feelings too. When someone hurts or disappoints me, rather than retaliate, why not tattle to God instead? His perspective is so much better and wiser than mine anyway, so why not ask for His input?

I think the key to making this moment by moment awareness a reality lies in taking frequent mini-breaks. Five minutes here and there to take a quick inward glance to get back into touch with His peace. A deep breath to refocus on His Presence. When we take little steps to make a conscious effort to maintain this intimacy we are keeping company with God. And you know what? It will not matter what is left undone at the end of the day. A successful day will not be measured by how clean my house was or how much I was able to check off my to-do list. A successful day will be measured by how well I stayed in touch with God. Did I obey his prodding to write that note of encouragement? Did I hear His whisper and smile at the cashier and wish her a nice day? Did I notice the elderely woman who needed help carrying her groceries?

Yes, it is important to have time set aside to be alone with God. During this time you are withdrawing from the world and its influences to be filled with God’s pure and holy presence. As He fills you with His grace and peace, He not only equips you, but asks you to take the strength gained there back into your everyday world where you live and work. That is called working out your salvation, and in doing so you will live a life pleasing to God. This process of perseverance, spiritual growth, and maturation is your active response to God’s amazing grace. And that, my friends, is Keeping Company with God.

..continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose. Philippians 2:13

Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. Hebrews 13:5

And surely I will be with you always, to the very end of the age. Matthew 28:20

As the Father has loved me so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. John 15:9

In Step with the Spirit

I have a confession to make. I am an undisciplined person. I am here and there and all over the place—I’m wishy-washy. Sometimes I get on an exercise kick and work out consistently—other times I do everything possible to avoid breaking a sweat. Sometimes I have complete control over what I think and say—other times I am a babbling idiot. Sometimes I am able to keep my emotions in check—sometimes I am like a running faucet! I guess you could say I lack self-control! The big question is, “Why am I able to keep things running smoothly sometimes, and other times I am so unbalanced and undisciplined?"

Today’s Bible study seemed to have all the answers to my questions. Maybe you can relate. The problem isn’t all my fault…I suffer from the Flesh vs. Spirit syndrome. There appears to be constant struggle within my flesh. It has a mind all of its own and it wants what it wants. Plain and simple. Then there is the other part of me, my spirit, and it desires to do the right thing. The problem lies that far too often my fleshly desires are in direct contrast to the spirit’s desires. At least I have acknowledged the difference, and I know that a person can’t change what they don’t acknowledge. I also recognize that I can’t change a thing on my own. I need God’s supernatural strength and help.

As a Christian God’s Holy Spirit lives within us, and that same Spirit gives us God’s power with which we can overcome our fleshly weaknesses. I love Paul’s authenticity as he humbly admits his own inadequacy. “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing” (Romans 7:15-19). Now, if that isn’t an honest admission! He goes on to say, “for in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members” (Romans 7:22-23). Haven’t you ever felt the same way? I certainly have. Heaven knows I so desperately want to please God by obeying Him and living to please Him. I love the Lord with all of my heart, and it bothers me immensely that I can so readily fall back into sin time and time again.

Today’s lesson reminded me that only as I walk step by step with the Holy Spirit will I be able to overcome these sinful tendencies. It is the Holy Spirit who enables us to break sinful patterns and habits. It is the Holy Spirit who intercedes for us in our weaknesses. It is the Holy Spirit who empowers us to live as new creations in Christ. And it is the Holy Spirit who continually rebukes, corrects, and guides us to holy living. We cannot do it without Him.

After Jesus’ resurrection, He appeared and lived among the disciples for 40 days until He was to return to the Father in heaven. He told them to stay in Jerusalem and wait for the gift his Father promised—the gift of the Holy Spirit. He also said they would receive power when the Holy Spirit came on them (Acts 1:8). The promised Holy Spirit was not only sent as a guaranteed inheritance of eternal life to all who put their faith in Jesus Christ, but to empower us in our daily living. Jesus knows how desperately we need His help, and He promised to never leave or forsake us. That is why He sent the Holy Spirit—to enable and empower us to conquer the flesh by living in the Spirit. Living in the Spirit, walking in the Spirit, abiding in the Spirit, and keeping in step with the Spirit are all synonymous. When we keep in step with the Spirit we go about our daily living by listening to and obeying the promptings of the Holy Spirit. It is not “giving in” to our temptations and desires, but actively seeking, asking, listening, and obeying God’s voice in our hearts. That is the key to conquering our sinful desires. We must also remember that our flesh often wants what is in direct opposition to God. We have to learn to pause to listen for the Holy Spirit’s soft still voice. When we act hastily and impulsively, chances are we’ve already acted in the flesh.

It has taken me awhile to realize that this moment by moment dependence on the Holy Spirit requires us to not only die daily to our fleshly appetites and desires, but to actively walk, think, and speak a little slower. When we allow enough pauses before we react or respond, we give room for the Holy Spirit to act through us. We need Him to inhabit all of our moments allowing Him to grace our thoughts, speech, and behavior. This definitely involves surrendering our fleshly appetites on a continual basis, but who wants to be controlled by them anyway? The ironic part it is that the flesh doesn’t really satisfy at all—at least not long term. One cookie is never enough, the extra glass of wine only partially numbs our pain, retail therapy does nothing more than land us in debt, and excessive internet/television use only wastes our time. What is so satisfying about that?

Lest I make it sound too easy, we must acknowledge that although our spirit is willing, our flesh is weak. Then we must ask for the Holy Spirit’s help and learn to depend on Him for He is our Helper, our Defender, and our Strength. When we consistently ask for His input and direction He will guide our steps, but He will also demand our active participation. This requires training, obedience, and is a process. Paul compares a disciplined life to running a race. “Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever” (1 Corinthians 9:24-26). You may encounter a weak moment that causes you to stumble and fall. But don’t stay down. Get up and start the race again. In fact, don’t ever give up. Don’t allow the flesh to tell you that it is not worth the effort, it is too difficult, or talk you out of reaching your promised destiny. Remember, you will reach a harvest if you do not give up. Celebrate your victories along the way. You win the battle every single time you give up the desire of the flesh. I say it again, celebrate even the small victories—I only ate one cookie instead of my usual six, I turned off the TV and took a stroll around the block, I bit my lip and refused to engage in gossip, and I chose to turn the other cheek and not allow bitterness to creep in. Yes, these may seem small and insignificant, but they are HUGE victories on the path to winning your race. Before you know it, you won’t be struggling so much, and things that used to trip you up will no longer have power over you. You’ve become more disciplined by saying “No” to things that are not good for you, and “Yes” to the things that are.

As you keep in step with the Holy Spirit, His wisdom and peace will accompany you on your race. And those companions are certainly more welcome than the guilt, shame, and laziness you used to travel with. You’ll sense a smile on your face and a spring in your step as the heavy load that formerly weighed you down is no longer on your back. Your burdens have been carried by the ever-powerful Holy Spirit, and He is the One enabling you to run the race marked out for you in victory. When you are tempted to give up, He reminds you to keep your eyes focused on Jesus.

Look, over there in the distance! Is that the Finish Line? And who is the person standing there holding a victor’s crown? It is Jesus! And that beautiful crown--it has Your name on it!

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Galatians 5:25

A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Galations 6:7-8

Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

Reflective Rest

Throughout our entire lives we are told of the importance of rest. Our physical bodies need at least 7-8 hours of rest every night in order to properly function, but too often we neglect to give our spirit the rest it needs. In six days God created the heavens and the earth and on the seventh day, even GOD rested. “Come away with me for a little while to a quiet place and get some rest” says the Lord. God knows that we fill our lives with busyness and that we get weary and so desperately need to rest.

Rest, rest, rest. Maybe you view “resting” as a waste of time—precious time that you cannot afford to throw away on mindless activity. After all, there is still so much to be done. Lately I feel that God is calling me not to so much “Do” but to “Be.” Let me explain. I have been working through a devotional called Answering God’s Call to Quiet and today’s message was all about reflective rest. In other words, resting while reflecting on the past. It inspired me to look at resting in a new light. When we reflectively rest, we recall the past and some of its lessons. Even more, reflectively resting provides a time and place for us to remember God’s goodness to us, His provision, even through dark times, and His extravagant love for us. “Wait a minute!” you may be thinking. “I am not going back to my painful past. My life was filled with sorrow and disappointment. Why on earth would I want to reflect about that?” Let me inspire you with some words of wisdom by the author, Neva Coyle. No matter how painful your past may have been, reflection is often the best way to realize that it is only by God’s mercy that some of us have survived at all. It is absolutely necessary to remind ourselves of circumstances that could have, in all actuality, completely destroyed us, but didn’t. We have to remind ourselves that God, in His mercy, saw us through, brought us out, and lifted us up. The mere fact that you are reading this today means that you survived your past, your pain, and you are alive today. Regardless of how you may feel your life has been up to the present point, the fact remains that God has seen you through. You are here now, and because of His great love you have not been consumed.

When we take the time to reflect on our lives, we can evaluate where we have been and where we go from here. When filtered through God’s perspective, we can now see the lessons we learned along the way. The very thing we thought would destroy us actually strengthened us while transforming our character. Often it is only in looking back that we gain strength to move forward because we can now see God’s involvement in our yesterdays. This gives us the strength we need to face tomorrow, no matter what may come.

When I take the time to reflect on my past I am filled with gratitude. When I see the direction my own footprints were taking, along with the tears of remorse I shed over my failures and sins, and then I see the tears of joy for my successes, along with the new set of footprints I followed, I can truly say that I would be a fool to not trust God. Reflective rest has given me new sight—sight to see that God’s handprints have been all over my life, even in moments of apparent defeat. In reality, He has guided and taught me through the pain of my past, which has led me to where I am today. How could I ever doubt that He will continue to be with me no matter what comes my way? Or doubt that He is not able to help me now? Reflecting on my past is my assurance that God is able to do immeasurably more than I can ever conceive or imagine. It provides me with tangible reminders that bolster my confidence that God will continue to care for me in the present and in the future.

If you think God has forgotten you or doesn’t care, I must tell you that you are wrong. He is the same God that He was yesterday, is today, and will be tomorrow. He is the only One who doesn’t change like the shifting sand. He is the only One we can count on to never leave nor forsake us. He is the only One who is bigger than all of our pain and trials, and He is the One who will see us through them.

If you are living in difficulty right now, may I encourage you to take some time for reflective rest? Believe me, it is not an idle waste of time. No matter how painful your past may have been, remind yourself that you are here today because you are a trophy of God’s loving grace. He has plans for you, and they are to prosper you, not to harm you. You may think you are in need of a little polishing up, and maybe that is true. But you are a priceless treasure to God and when He allows various difficulties to come your way, He is using them to polish you into His image. Do not be discouraged…do not be dismayed…for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. And one day, that beautiful trophy will shine brightly because Jesus will be reflected in you.

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. Psalm 116:7

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his passions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Matthew 11:28-29

Feasting on the Word

I’ve recently been introduced to different styles of Bible reading that I’d like to share with you. Originally established within certain denominations, they are by no means exclusive. I find them not only intriguing, but believe they are intended to deepen one’s prayer/bible reading time and walk with the Lord. At times I, too, have experienced such exhilaration after reading God’s Word, and I know that I have spent precious moments with the Lord. These are the times when I walk away feeling energized because God has personally spoken to me by illuminating my mind and even giving me a specific message. Other times, my Bible reading time has produced little to no results, because I simply read out of an obligation to do so. As a Christian, I believe in the power of God’s Word, but if I am not fully focused and present with God, I can allow distractions, selfishness, and even un-enthusiasm to impact my time with God. I’ll either rush through my devotions, or give up on them altogether, and then I wonder why I'm so easily irritated and my day does not go as well as it could.

When I learned about Lectio Divina and Midrash, I was intrigued. Yes, I wanted to make my time with the Lord more meaningful. Yes, I wanted to get more from my Bible reading. And above all, Yes, I wanted to be fully present with the Lord receiving His love and grace which He so freely desires to give.

Lectio Divina, is a Latin word for divine reading and represents an ancient practice of prayer and Scripture reading which is intended to promote intimate communion with God as well as increase knowledge of God’s Word. It is a slow and thoughtful way of reading Scripture that causes one to study, ponder, listen, pray, and even rejoice from God’s Word deep within one’s soul. This practice was originally established and used by Catholic Benedictine monks centuries ago. It has also been referred to as “Feasting on the Word.” The four parts are first taking a bite (lectio), then chewing on it (meditatio), next, taking the opportunity to savor its essence (oratio), and finally, the Word is digested and made part of the body (contemplatio).

There is a natural progression involved in this type of practice that goes from reading, to meditation (thinking about significance of text), to prayer (responding to God), to quiet stillness in the presence of God (contemplation). This type of Biblical reading requires a commitment to time, space, and solitude, and is far superior to just reading for reading sake. It promotes an intimate dialogue with God Himself, and as you remove yourself from distractions, you hear God speaking to your spirit. In prayer, you respond to God with an open and trusting heart.

The steps are as follows:

1. First, read the Scriptural passages slowly, attentively, maybe even several times. Write down any words that stick out or grasp your attention.
2. Next, simply meditate or think about what you have read and what the text means. Don’t worry—the Holy Spirit will impart spiritual understanding which will enable you to grasp the revelation contained in the passage.
3. What follows is prayer or conversation with God. He has invited us into His embrace and now we allow the Word that we have taken in to touch and change our deepest selves. This is the time when we openly commune with our Maker. In honest dialogue, we give our most pain-filled and difficult experiences to God, believing in His power and provision. We recite over all our concerns the healing words or phrases God has given us in our sacred reading. Through this consecration-prayer, we allow the Word of God to touch, heal, and transform us.
4. Lastly, contemplate or focus, on our loving Father. As your soul is satisfied, and in the quietness, fix your gaze upon Jesus as you rest and enjoy His presence. Knowing that you have been “filled,” allow His grace to give you the strength to endure whatever comes your way. It is a peaceful and tranquil state of being.

Midrash, is steeped in Jewish tradition. Likewise, it is a rich, ancient tradition which invites deeper exploration of the Scriptures through study, reflection, and even debate. In Hebrew, Midrash means to search out. It invites the reader to find those hard-to-understand or even quirky Scriptures and try to make sense of them before God. It reads the Hebrew Bible, not for the familiar, but for the unfamiliar, and then wrestles with the text, passionately and reverently. It views the Bible as one side of the conversation, started by God, and invites the reader to keep the conversation going by taking hold of a passage, wrestling with it, and not letting it go until he understands it. This process allows one to trade in a “surface understanding” for a “deeper grasp” of God’s Word. Reading the Bible this way can certainly be time-consuming and challenging, but I believe the rewards are well worth it. Again, it leads to a more intimate knowledge of God, and greater communion with Him.

There is no right way to practice Lectio Divina or Midrash—it is merely an invitation to go deeper into God’s Word by allowing the Holy Spirit to illuminate and enlighten your mind and heart. When we take the time to pursue and deepen our prayer life in this way, not only will we gain a deeper knowledge of Scripture, oneself, others, and above all, God, but He will align our hearts and minds with His as we ever-increasingly grow in our faith. And that should be the goal of every believer, shouldn’t it?

"It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." Matthew 4:4

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Hebrews 4:12

"Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3:16

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 2:22

Spirit-Led Christians

I was so excited when our pastor announced that he would be preaching a series on the Holy Spirit. I vividly remember in my Christian walk wondering what all the hoopla was about the Holy Spirit. I had always believed in God as Creator of heaven and earth, and I knew that Jesus, His Son, died for my sins. But as I began to study God’s Word more intently, the question kept coming up, “Who and what is the Holy Spirit?” I must confess that I did not even know that the Holy Spirit was a Person. In fact, I thought He was an “It” or just some kind of powerful force. Thankfully, my curiosity led me to the Christian bookstore where a myriad of books lined the shelves on that very topic. One of my favorite eye-opening books about the Holy Spirit was written by Charles Stanley—The Holy Spirit Filled Life. I even memorized his definition of being filled with the Spirit—“A moment by moment sensitivity to and dependence on the initial promptings of the Holy Spirit.” These books, along with the most important book of all, the Bible, are what opened my eyes to the power of the Holy Spirit that is available to all Christians. Unfortunately, far too many Christians are not aware of His power, and, therefore, not living Spirit-led lives.

So, can you guess what the difference is between a Christian and a Spirit-led Christian? Of course, a Christian is someone who has surrendered his life to Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior. He believes in the triune God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, and he knows that he is a sinner in need of forgiveness and grace. He is typically a church-goer, worships and prays to God on a somewhat regular basis, and may have even been baptized. He is a normal person with many of the everyday struggles that are common to everyone. He tries to be a morally upright person, and he has the assurance that if he died tomorrow, he would be guaranteed entrance into heaven. Sounds pretty good, right? What else is there to being a Christian? Well, if that is as good as it gets, no wonder so many Christians don’t live their lives any different than unbelievers do. These Christians have neglected the power source that lives within them—the Holy Spirit. That is probably why statistics report higher divorce rates among Christians, and why so many continue to struggle with the same issues and addictions that plagued them before they gave their lives to Christ. If this is the case, is there anything about a Christian that would even attract an unbeliever to God?

A Spirit-led Christian, on the other hand, is someone who not only has surrendered his life to Christ, worships and attends church services, prays and read his Bible, but has learned the art of staying connected to the true power source—the Holy Spirit. He has experienced hardship and trials and realizes that independent of the ongoing power of the Holy Spirit, he is incapable of doing anything worthwhile. He knows the vital difference between being a believer and living his life empowered by the Holy Spirit. He has learned that in his own strength he will burn out, and that it is absolutely necessary to draw on the power of the Holy Spirit in order to make it through this world’s temptations, struggles, and hardships.

The Bible teaches us a lot about the Holy Spirit. Not only does He convict the world with regard to sin, He guides us in truth, and He brings glory to God as He works in harmony with the Father and the Son. Nothing He does is ever contradictory to the Word of God. In fact, He uses the Word of God to illuminate truth into our hearts and enables us to recall what we have read. There is no limit to what the Holy Spirit can and will do through a believer who is faithfully dependent on His continual guidance and empowerment. He continually intercedes, comforts, teaches, corrects, encourages, and leads us in living our lives to bring honor and glory to God. His mission is to bring all men unto Himself and He uses Spirit-led Christians to help fulfill this enormous task. The Holy Spirit cannot be fully fathomed nor can He be adequately described. He is experienced. One thing we know—He is the reason we can have a vibrant relationship with our Heavenly Father. He knows God’s thoughts and makes them known to us. He gives us the mind of Christ.

As Spirit-led Christians, there must be a difference between us and the world. If we just blend in with the rest of the world, there will be nothing different about us to attract others to Christ. We are to be set apart, to be holy. We are to live in the world, but not be of the world. Some thought provoking questions you might ask yourself—“Is the Holy Spirit active in my life? Does He own all of me?” Instead of asking, “How can I get more of the Holy Spirit?” make your question, “How can the Holy Spirit have more of me?” Is there anything I need to do, confess, or surrender? Maybe I need to give up control over a certain area of my life. Do I need to forgive someone who has hurt me? How can I become more proactive in my relationship with Jesus?

The beauty of having a relationship with Jesus is that you can come to Him just as you are—flaws and all. You don’t have to have it all together first, and you don’t have to fix yourself or be perfect. That is the work of the Holy Spirit. When you surrender your life to Jesus, the Holy Spirit takes up residence in your spirit. He is your helper, comforter, and advocate. It is so comforting to know that you don’t have to change yourself on your own. In fact, you can’t. He is the one who is at work in the deepest places of your heart teaching, guiding, and even disciplining you. He is the one responsible for changing your perspective as He continually leads you through the process of sanctification. As you stay connected to the Lord through prayer and His Word, you will make progress day by day. You are literally being changed into the likeness of Jesus. This is the Holy Spirit in action—He’s busy at work changing you from the inside out.

Yes, you need Jesus for your eternal life, but you need the Holy Spirit for your internal life. He is the One who initiates, enables, and sustains your relationship with God. He is often compared to the wind—you can’t see Him, but you can feel His presence. Now isn’t it time to give Him the attention He deserves? Make it your goal to walk with an ever- increasing awareness of God’s power that is available to you every single moment of the day through His Holy Spirit. There is simply no need to walk around in defeat, for our victory has already been secured by Jesus on the cross. Now, let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, because He who promised is faithful. And may the eyes of our hearts continue to be enlightened in order that we may know the hope to which He has called us, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints, and His incomparably great power for us who believe (Ephesians 1:18-19).

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

But the counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” John 14:26

If you love me, you will obey what I command. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counselor to be with you forever—the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. John 14:15-17

..because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, Abba,Father. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Romans 8:14-16

Distant or Up-close and Personal?

I recently read an excellent book by James P. Gills, M.D. called The Prayerful Spirit. It gave great clarification as to why sometimes God appears to be distant from His creation. Of course, He’s not. How you perceive Him greatly determines your path in life. Your perception becomes your reality.

In the book he talks about the two views of God. In theological terms, God is called transcendent (above us) and immanent (with us). The word transcendent means superior, excellent, unequalled, and divine. When we say that God is transcendent we are saying He is eternal, unchanging, and without limits. He’s not only independent and self-existent; He is infinitely greater than all His creation. God is Holy and His transcendence is His greatness—His Omnipotence, His Omnipresence, His Omniscience. This greatness is what stirs wonder, awe and humility in us as His creation. “Great is our Lord and mighty in power; his understanding has no limit.” Psalm 147:5 “ Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens—what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave—what can you know?” Job 11:7-9

To say that God is immanent means that He is near us as our Helper and Comforter. To be immanent is to be intrinsic, ingrained, and internal. The very name given Jesus—Immanuel means “God with us.” He sustains us in times of trouble, and we trust and abide in Him as our Lord and Redeemer. “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” Psalm 46:1-3

As a believer in Christ, God is both above us and within us. Before I became a Christian I did not understand the “immanent” part. I always believed in a God who created the universe. I believed that He was out there somewhere (transcendent) doing His thing, but I did not understand the “immanent” part until I fully surrendered my life to Jesus Christ. I learned that I could have a personal relationship with the Lord, and that He would come into my life to dwell (immanent). What a difference that made! I no longer viewed God from a distance, but from an up-close, personal relationship. My prayer life took on a new meaning and I immersed myself in His Word. I wanted to know God personally.

Unfortunately, many people view God the same way I used to—from a distance. When we view God in this way we begin to believe that He is a creator who just doesn’t have much to do with His creation anymore. Our limited view of Him keeps us from pursuing a vibrant, up-close relationship. Our prayers are reduced to formal, rote prayers, and yet we wonder why we do not experience any sort of hope or healing. “I pray to God all the time yet He doesn’t seem to answer,” is a frequent response. Too often, we fall away and give up praying altogether.

Those who pursue a personal relationship with Jesus know that He is immanent. They are keenly aware that they can do nothing on their own but must stay connected to the vine. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5. They do not let familiarity reduce Him to some sort of “magical genie” who will grant them all their wishes. They have not lost their reverence and fear of the Holy and Almighty God. They stand in awe of Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all they could ever ask or imagine. He may be up-close and personal, yet He is also transcendent, therefore, they acknowledge His power, His Holiness, and His greatness. They worship Him out of love. They know Him as Jehovah Rapha, the God who heals, and Jehovah Jireh, the God who provides, and Jehovah Shalom , the God of peace.

My big take away from this book was that God is BOTH above us and with us. If we don’t believe in both aspects of God, we reduce Him to what we want Him to be. We either make Him out to be this distant and uncaring God, thereby limiting a powerful and personal relationship, or we become so casually familiar with Him that we lose our reverence and awe of Him. This can lead to disillusionment and complacency.

When we come to the place where we recognize that God is both greater than we are and yet is near to us, our prayer life becomes a joy and can be simple. We pray to Him as we talk to our friends and we don’t need eloquent, showy, or dramatic prayers. We come before Him with a humble and sincere heart. We can pray quietly with love, and as we confidently and expectantly come to Him, He becomes our dwelling place.

“In Him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by His Spirit.” Ephesians 2:21-22

“He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Psalm 91:1-2

My Christmas Miracle

I was looking forward to the New Year. 2010 would be a great year, I just felt it in the marrow of my bones. I was about to experience a major milestone in my life—turn the big 5-0. I was happy, healthy, and ready to publish my memoir. It had been 20 years since the tragic death of my firstborn son, Derrick. What God did through the agonizing pain in my life through the loss of my child was nothing short of miraculous, and it was worth documenting. Besides, I wanted to leave a legacy for my children. I had two more children after Derrick passed away that never had the privilege of knowing their big brother. My son, Travis, was only 7 years old when Derrick died, and I did not want new memories to erase the old ones. He had a big brother named Derrick who loved him immensely. They were two peas in a pod, only two years apart in age. Though I am so grateful that God gave him a resiliency to recover after such tragic loss, it was important to me that he never forget his brother.

After 18 pain-staking months of crying and re-living the horror of losing Derrick at such a young age, I finished my manuscript. I read and revised it many times and finally decided that I would self-publish my book. I had previously heard how often publishers reject manuscripts or want to change them altogether. These were the gut-wrenching words that spilt out of my heart; they represented my pain, and this was my story. No one had the right to change things just to make it sound more “professional.” A few mistakes here and there made it all the more real as I am a real person, with real feelings, real pain, and a true story to tell. After numerous revisions and editing, my book On Eagles Wings: A mother’s story of hope and healing amidst suffering and loss was published and made available for purchase through Amazon.com. I was thrilled beyond words. My hope and prayer was that God would send this book to the right people—those that needed hope and healing. He had been instrumental in bringing me comfort and peace when nothing else could, and I wanted that same comfort for others.

I had always believed in God, but I never really knew Him. I was too busy with life, and I hate to admit that I was as carnal a Christian as they come. I did what I wanted to do and basically lived my life my way. It was void of any sort of meaningful relationship with God. An occasional prayer here and there was all I had time for and all that I was interested in. That is, of course, until Derrick was gone. Out of anguish and desperation I returned to God. I was filled with so many questions. “Why God? How could you let such a young little boy die? What good will ever come out of such loss and pain? Are you punishing me Lord for my sinfulness? What is my purpose in going on? My heart is breaking and I don’t know how to continue living without him.”

Little did I know that my aching spirit was fertile ground for the Lord to get my attention and through immense pain and tears I sought Him. I returned to church, re-dedicated my life to God, and begged for mercy and forgiveness. I knew that my life had not turned out the way God intended. Just one week before my son died, my divorce from his father was finalized. I married my first boyfriend at the age of 18, and now, 11 years later was dissatisfied with my life. I decided I would be better off without him. I was determined to live my life with my young boys in a way that pleased me. My choices hurt God, and they ultimately hurt me. I learned that He is the God of new beginnings, and if His children humbly seek His face, He will forgive and restore them. He did this and so much more for me in the past 20 years. He not only brought me healing, He gave me an indescribable hope for my future and a purpose in my sorrow. That purpose was to reach others who are in the same place I was in so many years ago.

March came and went, and my book was published and distributed to all my close friends and family. I felt so alive inside, like I was doing exactly what I was called to do—bring glory to God through my son’s story. I was given the opportunity to give my testimony on numerous occasions; an article was published about our family and our journey of healing; my new website soaringhigherministry.com was established; and I was asked to join Women’s leadership at church by facilitating Women’s Bible studies. Life was good and I felt empowered by God to do big things for His kingdom. I was having “mountain-top” experiences, and I did not want to come down to the valley. I’m also a realist and I knew that mountain-top experiences were temporary and that we are not intended to live on the mountaintop. It is in the valley where God’s work is to be done. Eventually I made my way down that mountain and into the humdrum of real life again.

Several years ago God had introduced me to two very special ladies, Dee and Ann, who worked as childcare workers at our church. We had frequently exchanged “hellos” and occasional stories about Colorado when I dropped off my daughter into their care to attend Bible studies. Beyond that our relationship was simply cordial. That is until a year before I began writing my book. Dee knew my story and also knew that I intended to write a book sometime in the future. She was the one who continually asked me if I had started it yet. Unfortunately, more often than not, I had to tell her, “No, not yet. But keep asking. I intend to write it one day.” She reminded me every time she saw me, and in some strange way, the more people I told, the more committed I felt to write it. I didn’t realize at the time how much Dee prayed for me. She and her mother committed to being my very own personal “prayer warriors.” They took an interest in me and committed to praying for the urgency and completion of this book. Our friendship began to grow beyond an occasional hello and we began talking on the phone, sharing our faith in God and what He was doing in our lives. We lived about 40 miles apart, and started to visit one another as time allowed. Our friendship was flourishing. It was a different sort of friendship. It was based on a mutual faith in God and excitement arose as we shared how He was working in our lives.

Dee was so happy for me when my book was finally published and one of the first to read it. A few months later during the summer of 2010, she shared with me a disturbing dream she had concerning me. At first she was reluctant to tell me, but she pressed on and told me that she had dreamed that I had developed cancer. To be quite honest, I was somewhat shocked and quickly dismissed her dream. After all, I was the epitome of health. I exercised on a regular basis, my weight was under control, and I felt wonderful. It was just a dream, and I know from experience that the mind does crazy things at times. Sometimes you just dream strange things, and it surely does not mean it will come to pass. She took this dream as a sign from God to start fervently praying for me. I, on the other hand, forgot all about it and continued on with my life.

Just a few months later I found myself watching a taped show of Dr. Oz. I enjoyed hearing about his health based topics as I always felt a little more educated about my health. This particular show was all about colonoscopies. In fact, he had his colonoscopy performed live on TV. Unbeknownst to him, he had a small polyp which was removed on the spot. He made such a big deal about it. Come on, Dr. Oz, it was just a small polyp. He urged the viewers to make their colonoscopy appointments as soon as they turned 50. Yea, I know. It had been 8 months since I had turned 50, but I intended to wait a year or two. After all, I did not look forward to the procedure and surely a year or so would not make much difference. My sister also watched the show and shortly thereafter her husband, who was almost 51, had his colonoscopy. He, too, had several polyps removed. She urged me to make my appointment. I began to get a stirring in my heart that maybe it was time to visit my doctor again. It had been over 2 years since I had any sort of blood work drawn or tests performed. I made the appointment and while there asked my doctor if she knew of any gastroenterologists she could refer me to. She laughed and proceeded to tell me that her husband was a gastroenterologist. Okay, I’ll make an appointment with him.

A few weeks later while lying sedated on the table my eyes suddenly opened during my routine colonoscopy. My eyes fixated on the screen in front of me and through a muffled voice I asked, “What is that growth?” I came to my senses moments later in the recovery room with the doctor explaining to my husband that he discovered a huge polyp and was unable to remove it due to its size and possible excessive bleeding. He scraped off some tissue to have it biopsied and referred me to a colorectal surgeon. I could not believe what was unfolding in front of me. This has got to be some sort of mistake! I am a healthy, fit, 50 year old woman with no pain, no symptoms, and a bright future in front of me. What on earth is happening?

My calendar was cleared for the next 6 weeks of my life for doctors’ visits, embarrassing tests, fear, and fervent prayer. I was consumed with what was growing inside of me. It was called an adenoma and absolutely had to be surgically removed. Although the tissue that was biopsied came back normal, I would not know for certain whether or not this huge adenoma had become cancer-ridden until it was cut out and sent to pathology. A myriad of feelings invaded me. I was a strong Christian so why was fear my constant companion? I discovered that even though I longed to be with my son again and see Jesus face-to-face, I did not want to die yet. I still had work to do. My ministry was just beginning. I found myself questioning God, “What on earth is going on here, Lord?” My fears quickly gave way to prayer. Prayer to God to please give me peace throughout this entire process, and moreover to not let me go through this experience in vain. I asked God to teach me something through this—something about myself or others, or to draw me even closer to Him. I believed in my heart that this “test” that I was going through would only add to my testimony. I believed God for the best outcome, not matter what the prognosis would be, and I surrendered my fears to Him. Believe me, it was a day by day process. I asked everyone I knew for prayer, knowing that God would hear and answer our prayers. I also believed that their prayers to God on my behalf would strengthen me and give me the courage to go forward.

The day of my surgery finally arrived, December 16, 2010. The surgeon would perform a laparoscopic anterior resection wherein one foot of my colon along with the adenoma would be permanently cut out. I would remain in the hospital for 4 nights and recovery would be 4-6 weeks. I had peace in my heart, and I know it was due to all the prayers offered on my behalf. When I awoke I was in excruciating pain, but so grateful that the procedure was behind me. My only focus now was to follow the doctor’s orders and allow my body to heal. Everything else was out of my hands. I was grateful that I would be home in time for Christmas.

Every day was better than the one before and 3 days post-surgery, I was able to walk, albeit slow, and the discomfort was minimal and tolerable. On December 20th I went home to recover. There is truly no place like home. Although I knew it would be difficult to not start cooking, cleaning, and moving around, I needed to slow down so my body could begin its healing process. Lifting anything over 10 pounds was out of the question, so I would allow myself to be pampered for a little while. My family was very helpful as were the many friends who brought meals. God’s love and care was so very evident.

The day before Christmas Eve I received the call I had been waiting for. It was from my surgeon with results from the pathology report. He informed me that my adenoma was benign. “Praise God!” I quickly blurted into the phone. I asked him if this growth would have turned into cancer. “Absolutely. It was a pre-cancerous adenoma.” I then asked him if he had any idea how long it may have taken. He said, “Maybe a year.” I thanked him for the call and wished him a Merry Christmas. As I hung up the phone a surge of emotion came over me. I cried and I laughed as I was filled with such relief and joy. As the day went on I pondered how different this could have all turned out. In fact, I am still pondering. Through a series of divine interventions, God rescued me from potential disease and death. Does God still speak in dreams? You bet He does! The dream He gave my friend Dee initiated prayer on my behalf. The urgency that He alone put in my heart after watching Dr. Oz and speaking to my sister finally gave me courage to go forward with the colonoscopy. The many people who prayed for my healing are now all witnesses to a God who is good; a God who heals our diseases; and a God who mysteriously, but actively moves in our lives if we but take the time to look and listen.

And the request I had made to God to please use this experience to teach me something about myself, others, or Him? Well, He poured into my heart a fresh compassion for the sick, for those with diseases, and for those with very real fears. My job is to pray for them, for as the Bible says, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 Today is Christmas Eve and I have received my very own Christmas miracle. It is the gift of life. Every day that God grants us here on earth is His gift to us. What we do with that day is our gift back to Him. The year 2010 may have started out filled with excitement and anticipation, but I can honestly say that through this recent experience it is ending even better than it began. God is not finished with me yet, and until He calls me home, I will do my very best to live out the rest of my days with a renewed passion for His glory. For He is truly my Christmas miracle.