My Christmas Miracle

I was looking forward to the New Year. 2010 would be a great year, I just felt it in the marrow of my bones. I was about to experience a major milestone in my life—turn the big 5-0. I was happy, healthy, and ready to publish my memoir. It had been 20 years since the tragic death of my firstborn son, Derrick. What God did through the agonizing pain in my life through the loss of my child was nothing short of miraculous, and it was worth documenting. Besides, I wanted to leave a legacy for my children. I had two more children after Derrick passed away that never had the privilege of knowing their big brother. My son, Travis, was only 7 years old when Derrick died, and I did not want new memories to erase the old ones. He had a big brother named Derrick who loved him immensely. They were two peas in a pod, only two years apart in age. Though I am so grateful that God gave him a resiliency to recover after such tragic loss, it was important to me that he never forget his brother.

After 18 pain-staking months of crying and re-living the horror of losing Derrick at such a young age, I finished my manuscript. I read and revised it many times and finally decided that I would self-publish my book. I had previously heard how often publishers reject manuscripts or want to change them altogether. These were the gut-wrenching words that spilt out of my heart; they represented my pain, and this was my story. No one had the right to change things just to make it sound more “professional.” A few mistakes here and there made it all the more real as I am a real person, with real feelings, real pain, and a true story to tell. After numerous revisions and editing, my book On Eagles Wings: A mother’s story of hope and healing amidst suffering and loss was published and made available for purchase through Amazon.com. I was thrilled beyond words. My hope and prayer was that God would send this book to the right people—those that needed hope and healing. He had been instrumental in bringing me comfort and peace when nothing else could, and I wanted that same comfort for others.

I had always believed in God, but I never really knew Him. I was too busy with life, and I hate to admit that I was as carnal a Christian as they come. I did what I wanted to do and basically lived my life my way. It was void of any sort of meaningful relationship with God. An occasional prayer here and there was all I had time for and all that I was interested in. That is, of course, until Derrick was gone. Out of anguish and desperation I returned to God. I was filled with so many questions. “Why God? How could you let such a young little boy die? What good will ever come out of such loss and pain? Are you punishing me Lord for my sinfulness? What is my purpose in going on? My heart is breaking and I don’t know how to continue living without him.”

Little did I know that my aching spirit was fertile ground for the Lord to get my attention and through immense pain and tears I sought Him. I returned to church, re-dedicated my life to God, and begged for mercy and forgiveness. I knew that my life had not turned out the way God intended. Just one week before my son died, my divorce from his father was finalized. I married my first boyfriend at the age of 18, and now, 11 years later was dissatisfied with my life. I decided I would be better off without him. I was determined to live my life with my young boys in a way that pleased me. My choices hurt God, and they ultimately hurt me. I learned that He is the God of new beginnings, and if His children humbly seek His face, He will forgive and restore them. He did this and so much more for me in the past 20 years. He not only brought me healing, He gave me an indescribable hope for my future and a purpose in my sorrow. That purpose was to reach others who are in the same place I was in so many years ago.

March came and went, and my book was published and distributed to all my close friends and family. I felt so alive inside, like I was doing exactly what I was called to do—bring glory to God through my son’s story. I was given the opportunity to give my testimony on numerous occasions; an article was published about our family and our journey of healing; my new website soaringhigherministry.com was established; and I was asked to join Women’s leadership at church by facilitating Women’s Bible studies. Life was good and I felt empowered by God to do big things for His kingdom. I was having “mountain-top” experiences, and I did not want to come down to the valley. I’m also a realist and I knew that mountain-top experiences were temporary and that we are not intended to live on the mountaintop. It is in the valley where God’s work is to be done. Eventually I made my way down that mountain and into the humdrum of real life again.

Several years ago God had introduced me to two very special ladies, Dee and Ann, who worked as childcare workers at our church. We had frequently exchanged “hellos” and occasional stories about Colorado when I dropped off my daughter into their care to attend Bible studies. Beyond that our relationship was simply cordial. That is until a year before I began writing my book. Dee knew my story and also knew that I intended to write a book sometime in the future. She was the one who continually asked me if I had started it yet. Unfortunately, more often than not, I had to tell her, “No, not yet. But keep asking. I intend to write it one day.” She reminded me every time she saw me, and in some strange way, the more people I told, the more committed I felt to write it. I didn’t realize at the time how much Dee prayed for me. She and her mother committed to being my very own personal “prayer warriors.” They took an interest in me and committed to praying for the urgency and completion of this book. Our friendship began to grow beyond an occasional hello and we began talking on the phone, sharing our faith in God and what He was doing in our lives. We lived about 40 miles apart, and started to visit one another as time allowed. Our friendship was flourishing. It was a different sort of friendship. It was based on a mutual faith in God and excitement arose as we shared how He was working in our lives.

Dee was so happy for me when my book was finally published and one of the first to read it. A few months later during the summer of 2010, she shared with me a disturbing dream she had concerning me. At first she was reluctant to tell me, but she pressed on and told me that she had dreamed that I had developed cancer. To be quite honest, I was somewhat shocked and quickly dismissed her dream. After all, I was the epitome of health. I exercised on a regular basis, my weight was under control, and I felt wonderful. It was just a dream, and I know from experience that the mind does crazy things at times. Sometimes you just dream strange things, and it surely does not mean it will come to pass. She took this dream as a sign from God to start fervently praying for me. I, on the other hand, forgot all about it and continued on with my life.

Just a few months later I found myself watching a taped show of Dr. Oz. I enjoyed hearing about his health based topics as I always felt a little more educated about my health. This particular show was all about colonoscopies. In fact, he had his colonoscopy performed live on TV. Unbeknownst to him, he had a small polyp which was removed on the spot. He made such a big deal about it. Come on, Dr. Oz, it was just a small polyp. He urged the viewers to make their colonoscopy appointments as soon as they turned 50. Yea, I know. It had been 8 months since I had turned 50, but I intended to wait a year or two. After all, I did not look forward to the procedure and surely a year or so would not make much difference. My sister also watched the show and shortly thereafter her husband, who was almost 51, had his colonoscopy. He, too, had several polyps removed. She urged me to make my appointment. I began to get a stirring in my heart that maybe it was time to visit my doctor again. It had been over 2 years since I had any sort of blood work drawn or tests performed. I made the appointment and while there asked my doctor if she knew of any gastroenterologists she could refer me to. She laughed and proceeded to tell me that her husband was a gastroenterologist. Okay, I’ll make an appointment with him.

A few weeks later while lying sedated on the table my eyes suddenly opened during my routine colonoscopy. My eyes fixated on the screen in front of me and through a muffled voice I asked, “What is that growth?” I came to my senses moments later in the recovery room with the doctor explaining to my husband that he discovered a huge polyp and was unable to remove it due to its size and possible excessive bleeding. He scraped off some tissue to have it biopsied and referred me to a colorectal surgeon. I could not believe what was unfolding in front of me. This has got to be some sort of mistake! I am a healthy, fit, 50 year old woman with no pain, no symptoms, and a bright future in front of me. What on earth is happening?

My calendar was cleared for the next 6 weeks of my life for doctors’ visits, embarrassing tests, fear, and fervent prayer. I was consumed with what was growing inside of me. It was called an adenoma and absolutely had to be surgically removed. Although the tissue that was biopsied came back normal, I would not know for certain whether or not this huge adenoma had become cancer-ridden until it was cut out and sent to pathology. A myriad of feelings invaded me. I was a strong Christian so why was fear my constant companion? I discovered that even though I longed to be with my son again and see Jesus face-to-face, I did not want to die yet. I still had work to do. My ministry was just beginning. I found myself questioning God, “What on earth is going on here, Lord?” My fears quickly gave way to prayer. Prayer to God to please give me peace throughout this entire process, and moreover to not let me go through this experience in vain. I asked God to teach me something through this—something about myself or others, or to draw me even closer to Him. I believed in my heart that this “test” that I was going through would only add to my testimony. I believed God for the best outcome, not matter what the prognosis would be, and I surrendered my fears to Him. Believe me, it was a day by day process. I asked everyone I knew for prayer, knowing that God would hear and answer our prayers. I also believed that their prayers to God on my behalf would strengthen me and give me the courage to go forward.

The day of my surgery finally arrived, December 16, 2010. The surgeon would perform a laparoscopic anterior resection wherein one foot of my colon along with the adenoma would be permanently cut out. I would remain in the hospital for 4 nights and recovery would be 4-6 weeks. I had peace in my heart, and I know it was due to all the prayers offered on my behalf. When I awoke I was in excruciating pain, but so grateful that the procedure was behind me. My only focus now was to follow the doctor’s orders and allow my body to heal. Everything else was out of my hands. I was grateful that I would be home in time for Christmas.

Every day was better than the one before and 3 days post-surgery, I was able to walk, albeit slow, and the discomfort was minimal and tolerable. On December 20th I went home to recover. There is truly no place like home. Although I knew it would be difficult to not start cooking, cleaning, and moving around, I needed to slow down so my body could begin its healing process. Lifting anything over 10 pounds was out of the question, so I would allow myself to be pampered for a little while. My family was very helpful as were the many friends who brought meals. God’s love and care was so very evident.

The day before Christmas Eve I received the call I had been waiting for. It was from my surgeon with results from the pathology report. He informed me that my adenoma was benign. “Praise God!” I quickly blurted into the phone. I asked him if this growth would have turned into cancer. “Absolutely. It was a pre-cancerous adenoma.” I then asked him if he had any idea how long it may have taken. He said, “Maybe a year.” I thanked him for the call and wished him a Merry Christmas. As I hung up the phone a surge of emotion came over me. I cried and I laughed as I was filled with such relief and joy. As the day went on I pondered how different this could have all turned out. In fact, I am still pondering. Through a series of divine interventions, God rescued me from potential disease and death. Does God still speak in dreams? You bet He does! The dream He gave my friend Dee initiated prayer on my behalf. The urgency that He alone put in my heart after watching Dr. Oz and speaking to my sister finally gave me courage to go forward with the colonoscopy. The many people who prayed for my healing are now all witnesses to a God who is good; a God who heals our diseases; and a God who mysteriously, but actively moves in our lives if we but take the time to look and listen.

And the request I had made to God to please use this experience to teach me something about myself, others, or Him? Well, He poured into my heart a fresh compassion for the sick, for those with diseases, and for those with very real fears. My job is to pray for them, for as the Bible says, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16 Today is Christmas Eve and I have received my very own Christmas miracle. It is the gift of life. Every day that God grants us here on earth is His gift to us. What we do with that day is our gift back to Him. The year 2010 may have started out filled with excitement and anticipation, but I can honestly say that through this recent experience it is ending even better than it began. God is not finished with me yet, and until He calls me home, I will do my very best to live out the rest of my days with a renewed passion for His glory. For He is truly my Christmas miracle.

Power of Prayer

Have you ever wondered if your prayers truly matter in the big scheme of things? How often have you told someone you would pray for them and then totally forgot to do so? I have been guilty of both wondering and forgetting. God has been showing me a lot about prayer lately. First of all, that praying IS a big thing, and that it DOES matter. And that He hears every thing we ask, and He is moved to compassion on behalf of our prayers for others.

I myself have been the recipient of powerful prayer lately. I know, without a doubt, that many, many prayers were offered unto God on my behalf. The last 6 weeks of my life have been filled with confusion, fear, and uncertainty. When a routine colonoscopy revealed that my colon contained a huge adenoma (polyp) that had to be surgically removed, I was dumbfounded. I was always the epitome of great health. I could not understand why this was happening. After all, I was having such a great year. A few months previously, my memoir was published, I had given numerous testimonies of God’s healing in my life, and I was filled with a holy passion and desire to fulfill the purposes He created me for. This certainly seemed like some kind of mistake. Or at the very least, a “divine interruption,” as my pastor would call it.

During these weeks, I have prayed longer and more fervently for physical healing than ever before. My health and God’s healing was foremost on my mind. I tried hard to just “Leave it with Jesus.” Day after day I would find myself having to trust again and leave my fears and concerns at the foot of the cross. After waiting for seven long days, I found out that the adenoma biopsy did not appear to be cancerous. Praise God! I had to undergo a few more very embarrassing tests which revealed that the only way this “thing” in body could be removed would be through a laparoscopic anterior resection. In other words, a foot of my colon would be cut out. As I prepared myself mentally and physically for this surgery, a peace began to fill my soul. The power of intercessory prayer was at work on my behalf.

The morning before my surgery my thoughts turned to Jesus, my Savior. Even though I still had some angst about the entire procedure, for once I thought not about myself, but about the suffering He endured on the day He was crucified for me and you. There was no anesthesia or morphine for Him. No, He walked that agonizing path of pain all alone for us. I cannot even begin to fathom the intense anguish that filled His soul that evening in the Garden of Gethsemane. He said, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” Matthew 26:37. He sweat drops of blood over what was to take place later that day. He sought out His Father and prayed fervently for this cup to be taken from Him. Then He prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.” Matthew 26:42. He knew exactly what awaited Him--the humiliation, the pain, the torture, and the isolation. Not even His disciples would stay awake and pray for Him. How utterly alone He must have felt.

As I thought of what the Lord endured for me, I gained strength. I knew that He was not asking anything of me that He would not enable me to handle. Besides, He has given me a wonderful family and friends to support me. Best of all, He’s assured me that He would never leave me nor forsake me. He would be with me through it all. I believed Him. I asked God to use this experience to teach me something new and to draw me closer to Him. The surgery is all behind me. I am at home now slowly recovering. In His faithfulness, He has shown me the tremendous power of and privilege of intercessory prayer. I am forever grateful to all those who boldly went before the throne of grace on my behalf for my healing. I am thankful to the friends who came before my surgery to pray for my strength. I am thankful for those who visited me in the hospital, held my hands, and prayed over me. I am thankful to the others who used modern day technology and prayed to God while we are on the telephone. And I am thankful to those who silently whispered their prayers to God. Prayer unleashes the power of God. And this time around, I was the thankful recipient.

There are a few things I have learned about intercessory prayer.
1. God commands us to pray for others.
2. God’s power is unleashed on their behalf when we pray.
3. We pray for others out of love for them and out of love for God.

Don’t ever think for a moment that your prayers don’t matter. They do. They don’t have to be long and eloquent either. They can be simple, yet heartfelt. I have found one of the best ways to pray over others is to pray Scripture. Just insert their name and remind God of His promises. For instance, "Lord, you promise that you will cause all things together to work for good for (insert name). I pray that you would strengthen my friend according to the riches of your glory, with power through Your Spirit in her inner person, so that Christ may dwell in her heart through faith."

Can you commit to praying for just one person for a few minutes each day? It can be your spouse, your children, a friend in need, or someone you don’t even know. Your prayers will make all the difference in the world. It may not change their situation, but God can change their outlook or attitude. Remember, that He may not always answer in the way we desire, but He will answer in His way and in His time—Always. God is the only One who is all-sufficient and can supply the deepest needs in seemingly impossible situations. For truly nothing is impossible with God.

Next time God brings someone to your mind out of the clear blue, pray for that person by name. There is no coincidence that they are so strongly on your mind. They may need prayer. Our prayers move God deeply. He always listens, and He always answers. He promises.

“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let Him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.” James 5:13-14

“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16

“With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.” Mark 10:27

“Then the Lord answered prayer in behalf of the land, and the plague on Israel was stopped.” 2 Samuel 24:25

.”…then from heaven, your dwelling place, hear their prayer and their plea, and uphold their cause.” 1 Kings 8:49

“This is what the Lord, the God of your father David says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you.” 2 Kings 20:5

Fear Not

There is no emotion known to man as debilitating as fear. Fear causes panic, dread, fright and apprehension and produces a stressful reaction to the body. It has a paralyzing effect as it renders one unable to think logically or act intelligently. It has a mind of its very own and can lead to a downward spiral very quickly. The opposite of fear is peace. Where fear causes trepidation and angst, peace offers a still calmness and tranquility.

True peace is a gift from God. It is total well-being and inner rest of spirit, no matter what your circumstances may be. Jesus’ peace is real and present and the only antidote to a troubled heart. Have you ever taken notice how many times in the Bible Jesus commands us not to be troubled or afraid? God knew that left to ourselves we would wallow in self-pity and be consumed by fear. Yet He also provided us with everything we need to overcome this fear—Faith. Our faith in Jesus’ ability to rescue us from the storms of life is what overcomes our fears.

Fear has been a part of mankind from the very beginning. Fear crept into humans after the serpent tempted Adam and Eve to sin. In Chapter 3 of Genesis when God was calling to Adam and Eve, Adam answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” In Deuteronomy 1 when the spies were sent out to look over the land that the Lord was giving the Israelites, God commanded them not to be afraid or discouraged. In Joshua 1:9 again God commanded the Israelites to be strong and courageous and not to be terrified or discouraged for He Himself would be with them wherever they went. In Matthew 8 when the disciples were in the boat with Jesus and the furious storm came upon them, they were filled with fear. After they awakened Jesus He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Later when they saw Jesus walking on the water they were again terrified and thought they saw a ghost. Jesus immediately told them to take courage and not to be afraid (Matthew 14:29). At another time when Jesus was speaking to a crowd, some men came from the house of Jairus, a synagogue ruler, and told him that his daughter was dead. Ignoring what they said, Jesus told Jairus, “Don’t be afraid; just believe!” (Mark 5:35-36)

I believe all these Biblical stories were preserved as examples to not allow fear to overtake and consume us. Psalm 56:3 confirms that in this world we will have fears. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. It does not say, if I am afraid, it says when I am afraid. In other words, we will have moments when we are afraid. Tom Holladay, a pastor of Saddleback Church says, "We may want a life of no fears, but that only happens in heaven. In this life we're all going to face fears of one kind or another." At this time in my life that is very reassuring to me as I have been facing my own fears about my impending surgery. I have come to learn that when we become fearful, we must immediately focus our eyes on Jesus and let Him fight our battles for us. Prayer is God’s prescription for our troubled and fearful hearts. When we pray it takes the focus off of us and onto God. The more we pray, the more we experience God’s peace. The ironic thing is that Jesus Himself said that in this world we will have troubles, but He also said that we are to take heart, for He has overcome the world. When we are worried and anxious, we must pray. When we find ourselves becoming angry or bitter, we must pray. When we are fearful, we must go to God in prayer. In fact, we should go to God in prayer over everything and often. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.

When we cast our cares upon Jesus, something supernatural occurs. We become filled with a peace that truly surpasses all understanding. How wonderful to know that we are loved and tenderly taken care of by the God who created the Universe, and to know that we are His prized possessions, the apple of His eye. Anything that concerns us, concerns Him. Furthermore, He is the One who holds the entire Universe in His hands and can do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ever ask or imagine. He asks us to allow our faith in Him to overcome any fears that we have. I believe that coming to His throne room of grace in authentic worship and prayer is what moves God to act on our behalf. He delights in giving His children blessings and peace. "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him." Matthew 7:11

When you pray, don’t forget to add thanksgiving to your conversation with God. When you add thankfulness, especially during difficult times, you are praying a “by faith” prayer. By faith, you believe that God is who He says He is, that His Word is true, and that He will cause all things to work for good for those who love him. Thankfulness moves beyond what you may “feel” to acknowledge God’s behind-the-scenes work in the world and in your life regardless of what you may visibly see. Sometimes His work is apparent and visible; sometimes it is not. Thankfulness acknowledges that no matter what the outcome, you believe that He is able and that He is good—all of the time.

Next time fear begins to rear its ugly head, cast your burdens on the Lord and immediately lay them at the foot of the cross. Remember that overcoming fears may involve a process, and is not necessarily automatic, especially if you feel the fear coming back. The enemy of your soul, Satan, wants you to remain fearful and will try everything he can to keep you anxious, worried, and frightened. Remain steadfast and don't give up, but keep bringing your concerns and fears to the Lord through honest prayer and petition. Fill your mind with the perfect Word of God and then allow Yahweh Shalom, the Lord of Peace, to bestow on you His divine favor and fill you with His perfect peace. He will do it, for He who promised is faithful.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. Isaiah 43:1-3

Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid. John 14:27

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

Divine Opportunities

Trials are but opportunities to draw us closer to God. Why is it we shrink from them every single time? When we become uncomfortable with our circumstances we quickly need to find someone to blame and too often God gets the blame. We envision Him punishing us or allowing these difficulties just to wreak havoc on our lives. Then we begin to question our faith. Does God truly love us? After all, why would a loving God allow such pain, suffering, and hardships to come upon us?

In our humanness, we want security and comfort, and there is nothing wrong with that. But we often fail to realize that when things are relatively easy, we get a little too comfortable. “Happy” times do not have near the capacity to change us or draw us closer to God as do “unhappy” times. For reasons known only to God, it is primarily through the hardships and difficulties of life that our character is transformed. Think back on your own life. Although wonderful times may evoke a happy memory, have they really “changed” you for the better? Now think back at a hardship you have gone through. Maybe a difficult relationship tested you to the limit and caused you to seek after God as never before. Maybe you overcame a severe or debilitating illness that gave you a new perspective on life. These are the types of experiences that “grow” us into something larger. They cause us to leave our cozy comfort zones and go places we would not normally desire to go. Our human nature always wants the easy way, the best things, and the quickest routes. For example, we want great health yet often are unwilling to put forth the effort to exercise or eat healthfully. We want the best jobs earning the highest salaries, the newest technological gadgets and material possessions, and even the most satisfying relationships to make our lives relatively easy. We are living in an era of instant gratification. We also desire the quickest possible methods and steps to obtain the greatest results—30 minute meals, 30 minute workouts, 7 steps to a greater life. We frown at long lines in grocery stores and heaven forbid we get caught in a detour while in our vehicles. These little idiosyncrasies all add up to stressors that tip us over the edge!

While there is absolutely nothing wrong with desiring optimal health, nice things, and wonderful friendships, we must guard against becoming negative and faithless when things don’t seem to go the way we planned. The biggest tragedy could very well be allowing the unpleasant circumstances of our lives to cause us to lose our focus. Easier said than done, right? When things get out of balance in our lives we tend to obsess about what is not going right, and forget about all the things that are right. I myself am guilty! It usually takes several days of inward-centeredness before I realize that I am not doing myself any good whatsoever. In fact, inward focus only makes me feel worse. Not until I start to look outside of my little sphere and upward to God that I begin to feel any sense of peace. Then I wonder why it took me so long to focus on Him instead of myself.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1. This psalm tells us that God is with us in our troubles. He does not leave us to figure things out for ourselves. In Psalm 92, He promises to deliver us and honor us. But I do believe that He requires us to come to Him in childlike faith and stop being restless and fretful about all that concerns us. We must refuse to regard these trials as difficulties, but look at them as divine opportunities—opportunities to draw even closer to Jesus and grow into His likeness. It is only when God has deepened us, often through the struggles of life, that He can give us His deeper truths, His profoundest secrets, and His mightiest trusts. Jesus continually beckons us to come and rest in Him and He shall strengthen us. When we abandon ourselves to Him, we will receive the peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding.

I do believe that God uses our troubles to teach us valuable lessons. He teaches us about His faithfulness and goodness and asks us to trust that He will work all things for our good. A.B. Simpson said, “There are two ways of getting out of a trial. One is to simply try to get rid of it as quickly as possible and then be thankful when it is over. The other is to recognize the trial as a challenge from God to claim a larger blessing than we have ever had, and to hail it with delight as an opportunity of obtaining a larger measure of divine grace.” In other words, the very things that seem to be against us actually turn out to be for the furtherance of our way.

So, the next time you go through a testing of some kind, remember that now is the time for you to claim all of God’s promises and walk forward in faith and assurance that He is able to do immeasurably more than you can ever ask or imagine. Everything that concerns you concerns Him, and He promises to work all things out for your good.

Not always OUT of our troublous times,
And the struggles fierce and grim,
But IN—deeper IN—to our sure rest,
The place of our peace, In Him.
Annie Johnson Flint

My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in your weakness. 2 Cor 12:9

The Lord will perfect that which concerneth me. Psalm 138:8

In repentance and rest is our salvation; in quietness and trust is our strength. Isaiah 30:15

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Isaiah 26:3

Taken Aside

Taken Aside

There are times in every Christian’s life when his circumstances warrant a question of the Almighty. “What in the world are you up to, Lord? Why is this happening to me and what do you want me to do about it?” No matter how strong you are in the faith, trials and testings will still come. Personally, I am going through one such test right now. After a routine medical procedure, it was discovered that I need to undergo major surgery. While thrilled beyond words that my mass is not cancerous, the reality of what is coming my way is very frightening. I consider myself strong in the faith, yet I must confess that on numerous occasions my emotions have taken on a life of their very own. Confusion, fear, and bewilderment have been constant companions. But so have peace, comfort, and acceptance. Does my faith seem any less genuine if I ask God why He is allowing me to go through this trial? I think not. I have learned over the years that God is indeed a big God and can handle anything I ask of Him. He knows that we are still flesh and blood, weak and wounded, and vulnerable and needy. In fact, I believe He lovingly approves when we come to Him in humility seeking mercy for our every need.

As I pondered on the challenges and trials that come to all of us as earthly inhabitants, God reminded me that He uses these difficult times to grow our faith in ways that nothing else does. I have been so busy lately—totally preoccupied with my very own “to do” list. Many of these are good things, some are urgent, and they demand my utmost attention. God has His own list of things too that He wants to accomplish through me, and yet I realize that there has been little time in my full life to give heed to the more important things. Isn’t it ironic that the urgent always wins over the important? So I had to ask myself, “Could it be that God is shutting me up to faith? Is He allowing some great challenge to isolate me once again unto Himself so that I can fully listen to His soft, still voice? Is He trying to give me a fresh revelation of Himself and remind me of the purposes He has created me for?" My devotions today led me to Mark 7:33, the story of Jesus healing the deaf and mute man. For the first time ever, I noticed that Jesus took him aside, away from the crowd, before he healed him. If Jesus chose to heal this man privately, then surely being isolated unto God by whatever means He chooses can be a very good thing!

I believe if we look with the eyes of faith we will see God in every single challenge and situation. Every sickness, every loss, every sorrow, and every disease has to pass through the hands of our loving Father. He does not willingly bring or cause His children heartache, but at times He does allow it. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.”

Moses was sent away to live for 40 years in the wilderness before He was prepared to do God’s work. He was an 80 year old, faith-filled man before God was ready for him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Paul and Silas, zealous for God, were locked up in prison with their feet in stocks waiting expectantly for deliverance. Even in their darkest hours, in the solitude of their captivity, they sang praises to God. The aging disciple John was exiled to the Isle of Patmos where he was left to die. Yet it was in this isolated place where he received the glorious visions of God, and thereafter wrote the book of Revelation. During these seemingly dark and confusing times God was mightily at work. Their faith was being tested and proved genuine as they expectantly waited for God to work on their behalf. I believe that is our solution also. Rather than continuously question why these things are happening to us, why not expend our energy by renewing our focus on Jesus? We must always remember that He remains in control, no matter how out of control our lives may seem. May we look for the hand of God in all our circumstances, and then fix our eyes on Jesus in full assurance that He is actively interceding on our behalf. He promises to never leave or forsake us. We must continue to believe that He indeed is working all things together for our good, and that there will be blessings and deeper revelations of God that will come to us as well as others that never could have otherwise. Our job is to surrender all of our cares to Him and trust Him wholeheartedly. He can handle the rest.

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:13-14

"The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." Psalm 28:7

Ready, Willing and Able

Have you ever felt like God was waiting for you to do something for Him but have held off doing so because of your own insecurities or fears? One of your many excuses may sound like this: “Why would God want to use me to do something big for His kingdom when He could use ‘so and so’ who is much more talented than I am?” Or, “I just don’t have that kind of time and energy. Lord.” There is an entire myriad of possibilities that could keep you from moving forward in the direction God desires for you. You may not have even given much thought to what God wants to do through you. Before you get down on yourself remember that even Moses did that. When God appointed Him to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land, he did nothing but make excuses to God for why he was not equipped to do such a monumental task. But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11. The problem is that he forgot that the One who called Him would also be the One to equip him. Even after God told Moses that He would be with him and gave him numerous signs like burning bushes, staffs being turned into snakes, and his hand becoming leprous, Moses still had his doubts. What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, “The Lord did not appear to you?” Exodus 4:1. He was looking inward at his own inadequacy and inability, but God was looking for his availability.

I believe that God does that same thing with His children today. He has called each one of us to be His ambassadors to a broken, hurting, and lost world, and even though we truly believe that He is the Christ, the Messiah, the Redeemer, we often fail to participate in the Great Commission. Before Jesus ascended into heaven, He gave His disciples the command to “Go, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19-20).

Like Moses, Isaiah was also commissioned by God to preach repentance to Israel and Judah, as well as the impending doom, deliverance and restoration of Israel. Can you imagine the opposition he would encounter with such a message? Yet we’re told in Isaiah 6:8-9 that he told the Lord to send him. Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Unlike Moses, Isaiah was bold for the Lord. He was ready to accept God’s invitation to join Him in going and doing things that in his own strength he could not do. On the other hand, Moses told the Lord he was slow of speech and begged him to please send someone else. “O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue…O Lord, please send someone else to do it.” Exodus 4:10-13. Even though the Lord became angry at Moses, He was willing to allow his brother Aaron to accompany him. I love how gracious the Lord was to Moses, but He still insisted that Moses would be the one through whom God would speak. “You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth. I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do.” Exodus 4:15.

This story gives me the courage to move forward when fear or my own insecurities take hold of me. I know in my mind that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. The question is, “Do I believe that in my heart?” This is where the rubber hits the road and where truth faith comes in. It does not matter if it is a leap of faith or just one small step of faith, the question remains, “What is God commissioning You to do?” Faith as defined in Hebrews 11:1 is “being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see.” If you could see it with your own eyes, then it probably would not be faith. Faith must be released in order to grow. How do you release your faith? First and foremost, through prayer. Second, by expectantly believing, and third, by doing. Pray to God and ask Him to reveal to you what He is calling you to do at this stage in your life. Maybe it is simply to forgive someone who hurt you. Maybe it is the patience to wait for an answer from Him or maybe it is a more definitive action. Then believe that it shall come to pass. Expectantly look for opportunities knowing in your heart that if God calls you, He will also equip you. When you believe it is time to act or move forward, then confidently do so, knowing that He is the one empowering you and making you competent as a minister of a new covenant (2 Cor 3:6).

What good is it if you keep your Christianity to yourself? Most of the world is lost and hurting, and God wants you to participate in the joy of seeing others come to faith in Christ. What could be more satisfying than to be available and partner with Him in bringing comfort or help to someone in need? One more thing—don’t ever belittle or compare your calling. You may not be called to evangelize by standing behind a pulpit and preaching, but you are evangelizing every time you bring a smile to a hurting soul, feed the hungry, start a ministry, clothe the orphan, love the widow, listen attentively, or give to the needy. This doesn’t necessarily involve monetary funds either. But it will cost you something. It will be sacrificial because it may cost you your time, your special talents and abilities, or something else that is valuable to you. This is an investment that will be well worth it for you will be investing in something eternal—the souls of many others.

Now, are you ready, willing, and able to get out of your comfort zone for Christ and a lost world? Come on, let’s go…we have work to do.

“But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing.” 2 Cor 2:14-15

“Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.” 2 Cor 3:4-5

"We are Christ's ambassadors as though God were making His appeal through us." 2 Cor 5:20

The Power of Pause

Let’s admit it. Americans today are living in fast-paced times. There is a flurry of activity constantly around us beckoning for our attention and involvement. Many of these are not bad in and of themselves, but too much of a good thing can leave us frazzled and exhausted. What do we think we are accomplishing as we race through life at break-neck speeds? We may think we are achieving more, but in reality we are receiving less. Our race through life is causing us to miss many wonderful opportunities to connect with others on a deeper level as well as opportunities to learn and grow. A life based on urgency, speed, and productivity demands a high price both emotionally and spiritually, not to mention, physically. It can leave us overwhelmed and unfulfilled with life. Furthermore, it causes us chose the “urgent” over the “important” things in life—things like spending quality time with the ones we love, reflecting on our purpose, and pursuing a closer relationship with God. I once read the acronym for BUSY is “Being Under Satan’s Yoke.” It is true that he would love nothing more than to fill our lives with such business and clutter that we miss the true purpose for our existence—to love and glorify God.

There is tremendous power in slowing down to give oneself “sacred pauses” throughout the day. While life will continue to move swiftly by, we do have a choice in how we fast we move with it. However, we must make a deliberate choice to slow down or we, too, will move as quickly as it does with little time to breathe in between. May I suggest seven tips for taking these sacred little pauses.

1. Sit still. Find a spot in your home or garden to withdraw from your busy day and sit for at least 10 minutes. Do this every day at least once a day—twice if needed. Take a break and spend time with God. Sit and do nothing! Or, whisper prayers to God; or, watch and listen to the birds; or, close your eyes and feel the warmth of the sun on your face.

2. At the beginning of each new month as you fill in your calendar, mark a red X over 1 day on the calendar. Don’t fill this day with appointments or any other obligation. Give yourself permission to spend this day on yourself to do whatever you please. Consider this your sacred time, and do not feel guilty for indulging in it. Be fully alive and enjoy this special gift to yourself.

3. Embrace the mundane acts such as washing dishes, doing laundry, walking the dog, etc. Be fully aware that God is present in these moments just as much as He is when you are on your knees. Consider these mundane acts a form of prayer and invite Him into them too. Every ordinary moment is sacred if you invite God into it. Don’t miss the miracles there.

4. Hit the pause button. Let’s face it—we all hate to wait. Waiting implies wasting time, but instead of getting anxious the next time you have to wait in line…embrace the moment. Talk to the person next to you or offer up a prayer for someone in need. Embrace these slower moments as a gift and allow your mind to slow down a bit. Take in the scenery, or make a point of looking into someone’s face to smile at them. Hitting the pause button isn’t about achieving more, but receiving more. Give up the urgency and relish each sacred moment.

5. Lose what you don’t need. Get rid of stuff. Clutter fills your life. It wastes time and has the potential to leave you frazzled and exhausted. There is something stifling about the significance we attach to “stuff.” Why do we think we need more stuff to be happy or secure? Go through your house one room at a time and de-clutter. Throw away and get rid of what you don’t need. Better yet, donate it to a worthy cause. Then notice how liberating it feels to be clutter-free!

6. Recognize God’s presence. If we slow down enough and pay attention, we will discover that God is everywhere, even in the unkempt and often misunderstood. At the end of each day review what happened and look for places where you saw God’s presence. Allow yourself to see and receive God beyond the ideas and things you're certain of. Ask God to enlighten you and give you increased awareness of His everyday presence. You just might be amazed at how present He is even in the insignificant events that occur.

7. Rediscover the “kid” in you. Inside each one of us is enormous potential as God created us with unique talents and abilities. Reflect on how He made you and how you can use your uniqueness to glorify Him. Somewhere along life’s way we tend to become guarded and allow our fears to restrict us. Eventually we dismiss that we have anything valuable to offer. Let your guard down, and don’t worry about what others think. Ask God to help you rediscover your passions and then glorify Him through them.

I find it very interesting that even Jesus withdrew by himself daily to a solitary place where He could be alone and talk to His Father. If He found it necessary to take "time out" to refresh Himself, how much more do we need to!!!

"Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

"Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest. So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place." Mark 6:31-32

"But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." Luke 5:16

Don't Eat the Seed

I hate poverty. I cannot even fathom watching my child go hungry while I am totally unable to provide nourishment for him. Sadly, many people in this world are going hungry. When I see or hear of stories involving starvation it bothers me incredibly. I would love nothing more than to eradicate such poverty. I heard a story once that moved me tremendously. In some remote African villages something very frustrating often happens. When villages receive seed to plant, they often immediately eat the seed rather than planting it and allowing it to bring forth a harvest. How can this be? Don’t they know they have to plant the seed in the dirt, water it, and allow it to grow before it will bring forth a rich harvest to feed them for a long time? Because of their great hunger, they immediately gobble up the seed, rather than wait for an abundant harvest. In many ways this story helps to explain how Christians can remain spiritually hungry and not see any results even though they have invested time by attending church, listening to the Word, and even reading it themselves. Unfortunately, some who read and study God’s Word still remain distant from God by remaining in their captivity. Is it because they are just “eating” the seed and not sowing it?

Let me explain further. Most Christians have spent countless hours in church listening to hundreds of sermons on how to be free in Christ, live an abundant life, and enjoy a vibrant relationship with the Lord. Many feel energized and empowered as they leave the sanctuary, determined to live as a new creation in Christ. For a little while they are strengthened, but before long they once again become frustrated by life’s many challenges and quickly revert to their old ways. Still others read the Bible as well as other inspiring Christian books on topics of God’s love, forgiveness, and peace. They feel moved by what they have read and compelled to change their ways, yet too often they seem unable to make any sort of lasting change. This is because they have “eaten” the seed instead of sowing it. The seed of God’s Word can temporarily satisfy our appetites by moving us deeply and giving us satisfaction, yet still not produce a harvest. This happens when we do not allow the seed to penetrate deeply by applying the Word of God to the reality of our lives. Jesus says that we must be doers of the Word, not just hearers. When we hear or read a good message and do not apply it to our practical life we are “eating” the seed instead of sowing it. Then we wonder why we are not growing in our Christian walk. Or we believe that God really isn’t answering our prayers because we are not getting the harvest He promised.

God says that a harvest is sown, not eaten as seed. We simply cannot forgo the “doing part.” Not only must we pray and read His Word, we must practice it in the difficult places of our lives, believing and trusting that God will bring about a harvest. Interestingly, a harvest does not occur overnight. Ask any farmer when he planted his crop how long it took before he could harvest it? So why do we want instant results? Why can’t we allow God to work in our hearts through our continued trust and obedience? Before there is any harvest, there is a time of waiting. We, too, must patiently wait for God to reveal His plans and purpose for us. While we are waiting, He is working. More often than not, it is our hearts He is working on! He simply loves us too much to leave us where we’re at. He wants to produce the fruit of the Spirit in us—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. We must be patient and diligently apply the Word of God to our lives. In due time, we will reap the harvest if we do not give up—He promises.

“Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.”
James 1:22

“But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:25

“Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Gal 6:9

“The seed is the Word of God…But the seed on good soil stands for those with a noble and good heart, who hear the Word, retain it, and by persevering produce a crop.”
Luke 8:11-15

Perception = Reality

Francis Frangipane wrote in Holiness, Truth and the Presence of God, “We perceive God through the filter of our need for Him.” I pondered on this statement for quite some time and came to the conclusion that Mr. Frangipane is 100% correct. I’ve been baffled why so many Christians who know and love the Lord find little time to draw closer to Him. I’m not trying to be critical or cynical about mankind, but what is it about human nature that he continuously strives to be self-reliant and independent of God? That is, of course, until a crisis arises. Then we are right there on our knees, crying out to God, and praying fervently for help. In His goodness and love, He grants us mercy and grace to help us.

A little equation that has in recent years been impressed upon me is Perception = Reality. In other words, what you perceive to be truth becomes your reality. If I perceive that someone does not like me, I will act accordingly, and probably go out of my way not to talk to that person. I may inadvertently even appear stuck-up or unkind. Before long my perception that I am not liked will probably become true because of my ugly attitude and unnecessary behavior. Or, if I perceive that I am heavy and unattractive, I will most likely not be diligent in any sort of exercise or weight loss program because I will be down on myself. My negative perception of myself will skew my reality as it screams loud and clear—Why should I bother doing anything to properly take care of my health and physical appearance?

Now let’s use this equation on the spiritual side of things. If everything in my life appears to be going good, my job is satisfying and rewarding me financially, my relationships are all flourishing, and my health is strong, I may not feel the need to connect with God on a regular basis. My perception is that things are just fine as they are, therefore, I may exert little effort in the area of pursuing God on a deeper level. Why? Because my perception is that things are going well enough on their own and presently I don’t need much from God. So, my reality becomes “Why bother going deeper?” Excuse me for sounding redundant, but since I perceive things are fine without pursuing a deeper relationship with God, my reality becomes that it is not necessary for me to do so, and in my sinful, flesh-filled human nature, I will likely do little to nothing to pursue God on a deeper scale.

On the other hand, if I recognize and perceive my need for God in order to live a fulfilling and abundant life, my reality will become my quest to draw closer to Him through solitude, prayer, and reading of the Word. The “awareness” of my inadequacy without Him becomes the fuel which propels me toward finding deep significance, thereby pursuing a satisfying relationship with Him. My perception is that life without God is meaningless and futile, and my reality becomes that I absolutely must seek after Him with all of my heart and hunger for Him as I do for my daily bread. Then I will not be guilty of only seeking after Him when a crises arises and then settling for mediocrity again when it passes, but will continue to hunger and thirst for Him knowing that He is the Answer to all of my deepest longings.

No matter where you are in your faith walk, and whether or not you consciously recognize it, God alone is the fulfillment of our chief desire in all of life. Consider yourself richly blessed when your spiritual eyes have been opened and your hungry soul has been satisfied by the Living God, the true Bread of Life. No longer will the former things satisfy. Rather you will be on your way to a more meaningful, purpose-driven, and abundant life—one that only God can supply.

“Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.” John 6:35

“But seek first his kingdom and righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

“Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.” Isaiah 55:2

Empty Places

All of us have them or least used to have them. They are called “empty places” and they represent our deepest unmet needs and longings. Usually these empty places manifest themselves in unpleasant mannerisms such as a craving gone awry. They often appear as an insatiable need or desire such as craving too much food, too much attention, or even making unnecessary demands on people. In idle attempts we try to fill them with “things” or with “people.” However, those things cannot satisfy us longterm, and, therefore, we are stuck in a perpetual state of unsatisfaction.

I have previously experienced much failure in this area before I recognized that these empty places are not meant to be filled with anything or anyone but God. I’ve learned that only He can bring a deep satisfaction to my soul when I allow Him to fill my empty places. I have wasted many years in frustration and anger expecting something else or some one else to fill my cup. Thankfully, I have found that only Jesus can do that.

The interesting thing is that even though we may be a Christian, salvation does not equal satisfaction. I think that may explain why there are many Christians today who are living unhappy, unfulfilled, and unproductive lives. They may even wonder what is wrong with them and why they are not satisfied in the Christian life. While salvation is certainly a gift from God, we can only find satisfaction in Him as we daily and deliberately surrender all parts of our lives to Him. The first step to changing our dissatisfaction is in recognizing that we are still empty. Christ desires that all of His children find satisfaction and fullness in Him. It is not reserved for an elect few.

Satan desires to deceive Christians into believing that once they are saved there is really nothing else they have to do. This is truly a deception. Living a Spirit-filled life is the key to living a liberated and joyful life. However, it does require our participation. In essence, we must do a little something. It requires seeking after God with all of our hearts and pursuing a love relationship with Him. Moreover, it requires allowing the love of God to fully penetrate all areas of our lives as we surrender to Him in loving obedience. Interestingly, if we hold back certain areas of our lives from Him, those are the very areas where we will not be liberated. Simply put, if we do not have freedom in a particular area of your life, it is because we have not given Christ authority over it. Freedom flows where the Spirit of the Lord flows, and we often resist giving God full control over certain parts of lives. Then we wonder why we aren’t satisfied! As believers in Christ, even though the Spirit of the Lord is always in us, He can only flood the parts of our lives where we give Him full authority. So, the second step in filling our empty places is to withhold no part of our lives from His authority. Surrender. Let go and let God do what only He can do. Joyce Meyers once said, “Do all that you can do, and then let God do what you can’t do.”

I believe the third and most important step in filling our empty places is to come to the full realization of how incredibly much God loves us. Ephesians 3:17 tells us to be “rooted and established in love.” A tree is only as strong as its roots are deep. Likewise, the deeper our roots are in God, the more we will be able to withstand the trials and difficulties of life. Because God is love, He cannot make a decision for our lives that lies outside of His love for us. Yes, this includes difficulties too, which He often allows in order to grow us in character and perseverance. Jesus eagerly longs for us to know the depth of His immense love that surpasses all human understanding. We will only be able to fully grasp it as we get this power from His Spirit. Because His Spirit lives in us, we can grab hold of this power as we give all authority of our lives to Him.

Ask yourself today if you have any of these “empty places” that only God can fill—hardships, injustices, loneliness, or other unmet needs. I’m convinced that one of our greatest desires of all is to be loved unconditionally, and God alone can offer us this unfailing love. No matter what we do, He cannot help but love us for God Is Love. He wants to flood our lives with His love, but the fullness of God is not a one-time occurrence like salvation is. We must come to Him daily, confess our sins, pour out our hearts, acknowledge our empty places, and then invite Him to fill us. And remember--when we do our part to draw near to Him, He will come running to us. He’s waiting to fill all of our empty places with His lavish love. The question is, “Will we come to Him?”

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 2 Corinthians 3:17

And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. 1 John 4:16

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days. Psalm 90:14

Come all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!...Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live. Isaiah 55:1-3

Forgive and Forget

I excitedly hurried downstairs to wish my husband a happy anniversary. It had been 19 years filled with love and joy, as well as pain and sorrow, and all the other ups and downs expected in a good marriage. What I didn’t expect was the look of shock on my husband’s face. He was mortified as he totally forgot our anniversary. He always bragged about how he could never forget it since it is just two before taxes are due—April 13th. I did not want to add more grief to his already sorrowful emotions, so I simply said, “That’s okay. I know you have a lot on your mind.” He left for work deeply troubled over his ability to forget something so important. I’ll never forget what he said as I was trying to excuse his forgetfulness. “You only get so many anniversaries in your lifetime, 50 if you’re extremely fortunate, and there is simply no excuse to forget even one of them.” I must admit, deep down, it felt a little good that he was so remorseful over the whole thing. At least I knew he did care for me.

Later on that day I took a long walk outside. It was a sunny day and the temperature was perfect. It is amazing how a beautiful day can put a spring in your step. I was listening to my Ipod and praising God as I was happy to be alive and well. I did share a few small tears over the mere thought that a day so important to me could literally fly off the radar screen for someone I loved so much. Yet, I could hear God whisper to me, “Diana, I haven’t forgotten. Happy Anniversary, my child. I love you.” And then it occurred to me that He loves me so immeasurably more than I can even imagine. Can’t that be good enough? Must I always want more from others? Others who make mistakes and are just as human as I am? In those moments with Him, I realized that YES, it is enough. God’s love and affirmation is truly all I need. Everything else is just “icing on the cake.” In fact, I am convinced that is why I was able to forgive him so easily. I would not allow the enemy to wound me by attempting to make me feel unloved. I know that I am a child of God who is loved very much indeed. No human error will ever erase that fact.

It also occurred to me that God is a God who never forgets. And He sees everything, even those seemingly menial tasks that we do for our family day after day… endless loads of laundry, dirty dishes that never remain clean, tedious meal preparation, etc., etc. He sees and He knows. The tears you cry for your hurting friend, the insecurity you feel when you’re having a bad day, and the pain you feel in your heart when your kids make bad choices. Yet time after time we tend to run to others to make us feel better. Why can’t we just run to Him? He alone knows and sees!

I challenge you, as well as myself, to forgive those who let you down, and then remember that only God can never forget. Remember, He has even engraved you on the palms of His hands. I sincerely believe the more we run to Him, the less we will expect of others. And the ironic thing is, when He is all we need, we’ll gain even more. We’ll gain peace of mind, security, and trust, because we know that He never forgets.

Just so you know, God gave my husband an opportunity to redeem himself on our anniversary. That afternoon our daughter fell and slightly twisted her ankle, and the school nurse could not contact me. She called my husband, and he left work to pick her up. When I came home from work that afternoon, he was standing in the kitchen, a dozen red roses and a lit candle were on the table, and a lovely dinner was cooking in the oven. Isn’t God just amazing? I forgave my husband by letting the matter go and instead received God’s love and affirmation. And because God doesn’t forget—Lo and behold, my hubby pulled through!

Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. Psalm 27:10

…though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hands. Isaiah 49:15

Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven….for with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:37

Get Moving!

I have a question for you. Do you think that God can do anything? I do. But I also believe that we often hinder God by our own passivity and inactivity. I’m sure you’ve heard of the story of the man who is drowning and yet refuses help. This man finds himself struggling to stay afloat in a huge sea. He calls out to God for help and before long a big ship arrives to save the man from drowning. He refuses the help because he is praying to God for rescue. He continues struggling to stay afloat. He cries out to God again asking for His help and another boat arrives. “No, thanks, I’m praying to God to save me.” The boat moves on. Now desperate for help, the man cries out to God, “Please, please, save me Lord. I’m drowning.” One last time a small boat arrives to rescue the man. He turns this boat away too because he is waiting on the Lord to save him. He drowns. When he sees Jesus face to face in heaven he asks the Lord why He allowed him to drown. After all, he’d prayed intently for deliverance. The Lord answers, “My child, I sent three boats to come and rescue you, but you turned each one of them away.” Wow! That speaks volumes. It tells me that “Yes” the Lord is ready, willing, and able to do anything; however, He often invites us to participate in our deliverance. In fact, more often than not, our participation is required! I call that “active” faith. Passive faith sits back and does nothing. Nothing of course, except maybe pray. Pray that God will take care of it all. Sometimes there is a place for that sort of prayer. Things are out of our control, out of our reach. But often there is something that we can do. I believe Jesus is saying, “Come on, let’s do it together.”

I recently listened to a sermon by Joyce Meyers that profoundly struck me. She proceeded to say that God promises to turn things around in our lives, but there is action we must take. The first thing we can do is change our mind. The second thing is to change our attitude. Simple yet profound! We must ask God what we can do to make our situation better. And then we just need to do what we can do, and let God do what we can’t do. Did you hear that?

JUST DO WHAT YOU CAN DO, AND LET GOD DO WHAT YOU CAN’T DO!

I just love that. It shows us that God is waiting on us. We should not just kick back and do nothing, yet expect Him to undo what we’ve done. Take for instance the drowning man. He obviously got himself into the water somehow. Now he’s begging God to undo the dilemma he got himself into. Maybe there is a relationship in your life that has gone awry. Could there be something that God wants you to do to rectify it? Or are you asking Him to take care of it all?

In John 5 a story is told of an invalid man who was waiting to receive healing at the pool of Bethesda. Many blind, lame and paralyzed were there expecting the healing waters to cure them of their ailments. Jesus came up to the man and asked him, “Do you want to get well?” The man made up excuses that he had no one to help him get into the pool and when he tried someone else got in ahead of him. I love Jesus’ response. He didn’t just tell him, he ordered him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured. The ironic thing about this story is that usually faith in Jesus is essential to the cure. In this case, the man thought the curative power was in the waters. He did not even know who Jesus was. This explains that while Jesus usually heals in response to faith, He is not limited by a person’s lack of it. Praise God! He has mercy on all of His children.

A change in your attitude can truly change your life. Change is vital for growth. Furthermore, it only comes because we confront the fear in our lives. My challenge for you is to Get Moving! Does something need to change or do you need to change something? Don’t sit around and be a victim. Pity is not power. Believe that with God you can do anything. God will grant you favor. Stop telling Him what you’re not and start looking at who He is! Be courageous. Remember, courage is not the absence of fear but the will to move forward in spite of it. Don’t allow Satan to keep you in defeat and discouragement. Take back what he has stolen. God has a wonderful and abundant life waiting for each one of His children. Will you settle for mediocrity and sit idly by doing nothing to make your situation better? Or will you Get Up and Get Moving? The choice is Yours to make.

“Do you want to get well?...Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.” John 5:6, 5:8

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deut 31:6

Outgrown your Shell?

Everyone loves to be on a “spiritual high.” You know what I’m talking about—those times when being in God’s presence is a sheer joy and you take delight in spending precious moments with Him as He illumines your mind to new truths. These mountain-top experiences lift you to a heightened awareness of His presence and goodness. I have been experiencing these lately and quite honestly, I do not want to descend the mountain. By the grace of God, I recently completed writing my memoir—On Eagle’s Wings: A mother’s story of hope and healing amidst suffering and loss. The last year and a half has been filled with tears as I recalled the experience of losing my 9 year old son to death. In order to accurately document my story, I needed to return to a difficult time in my past and relive the pain again. I welcomed God’s presence as I painstakingly wrote chapter after chapter. I felt His fresh wounds alongside mine. I know that I was not journeying alone—Jesus was with me all along. Since completing my book, I have been on that mountain-top experiencing so much love from not only God Himself but also from others who have read my story. I sense His approval as I feel His favor resting on me. What a wonderful place to be!

What do you do, however, when you find yourself in that valley and your spiritual energy is zapped and the former communion you shared with God has become rote, dull, and even stagnant? Maybe you are feeling bored with reading the Scriptures and distracted in your prayers. Ironically, we’ve all been there too. I think sometimes God allows us to go back down to the valley, not to punish or discipline, but to allow a fresh hunger to rise up inside of us. While it is wonderful to savor pleasant God-experiences, they are not meant to sustain us in the long haul. I believe that God desires for us to seek Him in new and fresh ways, continually growing deeper in our knowledge and awareness of Him. It is inevitable that old practices and rituals will only become stale after awhile, and could even cause us to feel as if we have hit a “dead end” in our relationship with the Lord. Maybe it is time to put those formerly comfortable disciplines aside to try something new.

As a hermit crab eventually outgrows the shell on its back and has to go in search of a new one that is roomier, we too may feel a need to move in a new and different structure in order to accommodate the growth spurt God intends for us. As Christians I don’t believe we are supposed to settle for spiritual mediocrity. However, we need to do our part in helping to effectuate the change and growth that God desires for us. We can’t sit idly by and do nothing. Even the hermit crab will leave its formerly comfortable shell in search of a new one. We also must leave behind old, unproductive practices in search of new ones.

There are many spiritual disciplines we can use to draw closer to God. You need not look any further than within yourself. Maybe you can establish a new habit of spending the first five minutes when you awake in conscious awareness of God. Before even getting out of bed, think of Him, talk to Him, and let Him order your day. Or maybe throughout the day you can offer up “breath prayers,” which are simply phrases you say to God within a breath. “Give me a heart for you,” or “Help me to abide in you.” It doesn’t matter what you do, simply seek to draw closer to Jesus as you become aware of His presence within you. Don’t settle for spiritual dryness. And above all, don’t wait too long. Sometimes the hermit crab waits too long to venture out of its comfortable shell to find its new home. When it can’t find one fast enough, it dies, unable to protect itself from the weather and other oceanic species. Move forcefully beyond the stagnation and expand your horizons. There may just be another mountain-top experience awaiting you.

"Call to me and I will tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

The Lord says, "These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Their worship of me is made up only of rules taught by men." Isaiah 29:13

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13